…trying so hard to be right. Of course, being right isn’t a bad thing in itself— knowing stuff and having correct answers can distinguish you and win you the opportunity to lead— but fixating on being right can distinguish you too and lose the very credibility you were desperately seeking in the first place.
There’s no denying that it feels good to be right, and it’s easier to lead when you are. It feels lofty, leaderly, like you have a clear mandate to command. It’s intoxicating. No wonder so many of us start thinking it’s something to be maintained at all cost. But be assured, none of us is actually right all the time, and trying to look like it comes at a high price indeed. Leaders who fear being wrong…
…have fragile and one-directional relationships because they never apologize and meaningful reciprocity disappears. They perpetually reframe and reinterpret reality instead of simply acknowledging their missteps. This might keep their personal record clean, but at the expense of the vulnerability and interpersonal connection that fosters genuine trust.
…don’t take risks or innovate because it’s more important to them to prove their infallibility than to go boldly where none have gone before. They need to know that the journey will ultimately affirm their choices before they will take the first step.
…keep everyone else small because smarter or more capable people threaten them. They wnat to know that relationships and interactions will prove their prowess even if that confidence is purchased at the expense of the greater synergy and capacity of engaging the best and brightest.
…are brittle and break when leadership matters most. The resilience and personal efficacy we need most in trying times is borne in our acceptance of our imperfection rather than our absolute or unrealistic expectations of ourselves.
It’s awfully easy to think that your leadership depends on your perfection, but this is a dangerous delusion. People choose to follow you for many reasons, but not usually because they think you’re perfect. When you try too hard to look like it, you’re not fooling anyone but yourself and they get irritated, suspicious or disillusioned and decide it would be safer and more meaningful to give their allegiance to someone else. So stop trying so hard not to be wrong, and make the most of it when you are.
andrewjjohnston 